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LETTING GO WHEN YOUR RELATIONSHIP IS NOT WORKING ..

Published by on December 27th, 2020.


People seem to have a natural tendency to raise expectations when they are pursuing or seeing someone who fits their bill of a right partner .This causes them to become emotionally attached and makes it difficult for them to let go even in situations where it is evident that the person they love does not feel the same for them or when he or she decides to start seeing some else.

Denial predisposes them to a lot of mental health problems, including depression, confusion, feelings of worthlessness and futility,reduced attention at school or work just to mention a few. Moreover, their social and occupational functioning become impaired.

 

Given the fact that holding on to a person who does not have feelings for you results in several detrimental effects, it is important to let go of them regardless of how much you love them because of the following reasons :

1. As earlier mentioned, being in denial affects you emotionally, socially and occupationally . Thus,you need to accept the reality and move on.It’s not easy, but it is worth it as your life is obviously better off with out them.

2. It protects you from the frustrations that are associated with not being loved in return. Such frustrations ,if not handled properly ,could lead you into maladaptive ways of coping such as substance misuse and sexual promiscuity ,both of which are dangerous to your health and lead to death Hence cutting emotional ties with them is advantageous.

 

3. You will be at liberty to choose from a variety of potential mates. You see, when you are pursuing or seeing someone you love, you tend to have eyes for them only. But when you let go of them, you realise that there are actually a lot of potential mates out there.Thus, you choose the best from those.But you should first and foremost seek God’s direction before you choose your knew mate as He is the matchmaker. He will definitely give you what your heart desires. Hence you need to pray, fast and search (for men) ;pray, fast and position yourself properly (for women).

4.You will experience peace, as though a burden has been lifted off your shoulder.

5. You will make progress in your life. Pursuing or seeing someone who does not have the same feelings for you can be a hindrance to your progress in life due to disturbed concentration. Hence leaving them is is a blessing in disguise.

there is someone better for you out there

Apart from being a mental health practitioner Mr farai Mbundire is also a writer, researcher and a mental health lecturer.

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